All posts by Steve Evans

College Lecturer, would-be Pirate

Karina-Jones: Princess Cat

lovely cat
Karina-Jones was due her post-op check-up this afternoon at the Vets.  Perhaps prematurely I was congratulating myself on getting her easily into her jazzy ‘travel’ zip-up carrier.  There it was now, safe on rear seat of the car – the occasional mews of sadness & mild complaint emitting.

Three hundred meters down the road I fancy I can hear a zip being slowly, experimentally pulled, and sure enough – a few seconds later, she appears in the rear-view mirror.  Grinning.

OK – “Be calm” I tell myself “Just drive slowly, and if there’s any sign of her getting toward the front, then pull over and pop her back into the box” – Easy.

At the first set of lights I swivel round and gaze rearward – nothing.  No cat.  She’s obviously climbed over into the hatch area.  This is good news.

We (as I presume it’s still ‘we’) get to the vets.  I need to tell you here that parking at this Vets is very close to a main road.
If I just open the rear-hatch now, a jumpy cat would be about one tiny metre away from a very busy road.  So I gingerly open one of the rear doors, kneel on the rear seat, close the door behind me and try to see Karina.

Nothing.  That’s weird.

Now OK, there’s a lot of stuff in the back – not yet cleared out from a summer’s boating, beaching and god knows what I imagined we’d be doing all Summer from the amount of equipment I carry.  There is however, no matter how many items I carefully move and peer under – decidedly no cat.

“Ok” I think “I’m at the wrong angle” – I get out of the back, carefully close the door, and walk around to the rear hatch and open it about 3 centimetres, kneel down and check no animal is squatting there – pre-pounce to freedom.

Nothing.

Open door wider, scrabble about under items of summer, behind screen-wash top-ups, behind stack-and-store boxes full of emergency tools never ever needed.

Nothing.  “My god I’ve lost her!”  Against all logic – I’m feverishly trying to think if there’s a way out from the back of the car – maybe underneath?
Just like checking the same place a million times when you’ve lost something you KNOW you’ve checked this place but you can’t help yourself.

OK, there’s nothing for it.  I lock the car doors and walk into the vet’s reception.

“HI!  Steve Evans, and Karina – except I haven’t got Karina.”  The young girl gives me an old-fashioned look.  I try and explain, I fail, and we re-schedule the appointment.

Back outside I’m in one of those ‘I can’t believe this’ moods.  What a waste of time and effort – I’m never gonna use that stupid travel cat jobby-thingy again.  I roll a ciggy, lean against the front wing of the car and stare at nothing.

A movement attracts my attention.  There is a cat, paws up against the rear window – she’s staring at me in a way that seems to ask “what shall we do together now Papa?” 

I open the door, pick her up, pop her effortlessly into the carrier, zip it up (noticing en-route the Velcro zipper lock I’d completely failed to see the first time).

Now at this point it is maybe three minutes after I’d last been into reception, so I whiz back in – cat in bag, so pleased to have retrieved the situation.

A different girl is sat behind the desk, and she’s on the phone to someone who seems to prefer every phrase to be peppered with “you know” and “to be fair” before the conversation can progress.

Fifteen hours later she puts the phone down.  I explain that I am no longer sans-cat.  She peers at her computer monitor.

She presses a few keyboard keys, and looks up to gaze around reception for a few hours.

Apparently the ‘phone call was someone diving-in to take-up the cancelled appointment.

“Ah well thanks anyway.”   Karina-Jones and I drive home.

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For me, Europe has the soul we cannot hope to regain in the UK.

A couple of items from across the water caught my eye this morning.  I was juggling a million hours ‘contact’ time a week, with looming Observations, with a Performance Review tomorrow, and working 12 hours yesterday as The College had an Open Evening.

So it was calming, useful in the extreme to be able to read a couple of pieces that renew my faith in humanity.  Or at least people power of right kind.

Fuck Off Google!  –  This one’s fairly simple – you can read it HERE

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Ahhh, but Sweden – now they were always going to be different weren’t they?  Apparently APPLE want to build one of their Churches to Techness in one of Sweden’s oldest ‘town parks’.

Where Councils all over the developed world would be rubbing their market-economies together with unrestrained glee at such a prospect – NO!
Stockholm is REALLY PISSED-OFF AT SUCH A STUPID IDEA.

“Apple’s store places itself on a podium on the park’s central axis and dominates the setting, seen from the park,” Nyréns wrote in its response to the consultation. “The building, with its location and size, stakes a claim to be the park’s main building.”

“It takes all its energy and all its aura from the public space and doesn’t add anything,” says Dan Hallemar, editor of Arkitektur, Sweden’s leading architecture magazine. “It’s like a parasite.”

Absolutely brilliant!

The full story is HERE

Business over life

Iceland’s banned TV advert.  Iceland as a ‘joke’ supermarket have gone up several notches this year in my estimation, trying far harder than the ‘big four’ to do their bit for the environment – but this tops it all.   Good for them, and shame on the idiots who decided it was just too political to air on UK TV.

Story here

Football’s coming home? Where?

footb

Great to see some good football.  Like millions of us, I never watch it unless it’s the World Cup.  This “it’s coming home” is a bit of puzzler though isn’t it?

I mean, to start with – it’s obviously not ; not once our guys start to play some heavyweight talent, and (b) if it were coming home, then it would be going to Uruguay.
(The first World cup was the 1930 FIFA World Cup  – held in Uruguay in July 1930).

Still, let’s not mince potatoes shall we?

Anyway – I went onto wikipoobia to do a bit of in-depth analysis, sorry, meaningless crap-chat – and discovered the terribly useful snippet below . . . .

footbb
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1930_FIFA_World_Cup

Resigned?  What?  You, you mean like, resigning from Europe?

10 Minute walk, Boscombe, Bournemouth

Once a gorgeous part of Bournemouth – with houses sporting entrances like this (Private Hotels, mostly).

Seems this one now much better employed as a service cupboard?boscombe_entrance

Moving on . . . . .  (a little further up Sea Road, Bournemouth)

boscombe_rubbish

Jason Streatham lives here – lovely shiney black machine there eh?  Well suited to get you from one Country to another.

boscombe_glass

Jason’s gonna have to be careful though . . . . (car window glass – Argyll Road)

boscombe_kitchen

. . . . but if he keeps his Kitchen door open, maybe?  (Argyll Road)

Letter to my MP – 14/3/18

giant_coffee_cup

to:  conor.burns.mp@parliament.uk

In yesterday’s spring budget Phillip Hammond finally got around to announcing that there would be a consultation into the effects of a charge on disposable coffee cups.

What a shame.

I wonder what is wrong with the UK nowadays – that we need a CONSULTATION on whether or not to do something, when that thing itself is only a half-measure?

The technology exists to never use Plastic again in many things, including Coffee cups.
Indeed, sufficient studies abound showing that merely wandering around with giant containers full of frothy drink – as the fashionable thing it has become, contributes toward a sluggish, ailing workforce.

We know our country needs productivity, not just “jobs based on other people having real jobs” – and we need to be technologically advanced.

So here is the idea – 2 years to a complete ban on plastic for anything ‘throwaway’.
The markets will find the solution, invest in creating the solution.
Let’s be brave for a change.